Weigh less, Pay less!

There was an interesting piece of news a couple of weeks back! Samoa (not samosa, if you please) Air charges fliers by the kilo!

The airline claims that this is the fairest way of travelling (I think it meant fairest way of charging!).

The passengers are required to indicate their weight and weight of their baggage at the time of booking the tickets and these will be physically cross checked at the airport.

If the different airlines operating in India were to adopt this, I imagine the following scenario:

1.      There will be a clamour for going lean as we do not want to pay more for anything let alone airfare!

2.      People would look hungry but will not eat for fear of adding to their waistlines.

3.      Demand for sugar will come down and so will its price

4.      Sweet shops will have less business.

5.      Exchanging sweets during festival times will become an obsolete practice.

6.      Sports shoes (walking shoes) may be in great demand and so their prices may shoot up – everyone would like to go thin - you see and have that emaciated look!

7.      Walkways will be crowded – morning walk will become serious business. There will be clamour from different political leaders (particularly from those Netas who need more than one chair to seat themselves!) that the government of the day is not worried about those wanting to slim

8.      Gymnasiums will have a rush of applicants – they may have to open several new outlets – good business opportunities! Banks may look at this as an appropriate lending avenue!

9.      People who do not want to go outdoors will buy exercise equipment – their prices will soar.

10.  Dieticians will start charging more for their advice – since you pay less for air travel pay more for advice – law of balancing numbers!

11.  Chocolates will cost less – there will be no demand.

12.  Invitations for lunch/dinner will be politely declined – people’s mannerisms will improve. And so all the wayside fast food joints will have fewer customers and so less litter all over!

13.  Public transport systems will accommodate more persons per journey than before.

14.  Yoga gurus will start advertising that their school of ‘going thin’ is the best.

15.  On line courses on slimming will mushroom.

16.  TV channels will use prime time for shows on slimming. And anchors who are obese will find it difficult to come across as effective debaters as people start believing that only ‘the thin’ are ‘believable’

17.  Expert panels will shriek (!) that the governments are intruding into the citizens’ private lives by indirectly forcing ‘slimming’ on the unsuspecting (!) public

18.  Opposition parties will see this as a ploy to keep those BPL permanently in those strata!

19.  The unfortunate few who cannot reduce their waistlines will try to pair with thin passengers and request the airlines to treat them as a package and thus try to keep their airfares low.

20.  Tailors will have a field day altering the measurements to fit the new size!

21.  Hotels will clock less revenue as eating will be considered a luxury nay blasphemy!

22.  The household budget needs on food items will be reduced and demand for food items will decrease resulting in its inflation coming down to single digit from the present two digits!

 

With this single measure, the Nation’s health will glow! How ingenious!

The airlines will check your weight at the airport and collect the difference in fare, if you are weightier than before. But will they refund if you become lighter since booking the ticket?

We have to wait (weight) and see!

Today’s newspapers talk of charging for even your check-in baggage which hitherto was a freely allowed item. May be our airlines are preparing for the day when all the passengers go thin, their revenues fall and so compensate by charging for the courtesies hitherto extended free!.