COMMITMENT

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The newspapers of the last two days are full of points/counterpoints on the Italian government’s decision not to send back the two marines who were to be tried in India for killing two Indian fishermen off our Kerala coast last year.

 Strange as it was, the two accused were granted some kind of parole to visit their home country and exercise their franchise. This leniency was predicated upon the act of commitment of the Italian government returning them to India after their sojourn in Italy for Christmas (as          promised to the Hon’ble High Court of Kerala). (That raises a big question – do we allow our accused to celebrate festivals with their kith and kin?).

 But this time, the Italian government chose to question the sovereignty of India and have refused to return them in spite of a solemn assurance to the Hon’ble Supreme Court Of India that the accused will be sent back to face trial in Indian courts.

 Hue and cry have been raised and one of the opponents of the government has gone so far as to hint at conspiracy between the Indian government and the Italian government. We seem to be a notion smelling rat in everything Italian. Let us concede it – it was a simple matter of accepting the solemn assurance, nay commitment, of a sovereign State through its Ambassador in India that thee accused will come back. And like professionals and gentlemen we accepted it. Why doubt the sincerity of our government?

Commitment is a pledge or an undertaking. And here we have the representative of a sovereign government taking full responsibility of ensuring the marines’ return. The delicacy and magnitude of this trust deeply concerns the political reputation and the intent of sovereign governments. Have we not seen dictators usurping powers through military coup state in their first declaration that all the international treaties will be honoured? How then are we to suspect that a change in government will result in change in policy like this?  

 This led me to reflect on commitments in life.

Most of us, in our lives, commit to do certain things and what is our rate of default? To commit is to pledge yourself to a certain purpose or line of conduct. It also means practicing your beliefs consistently.  I shall slim down, I shall not smoke, I shall do this, I shall do this are commitments that we make to ourselves only to breach them!

Then there is the sacred institution of matrimony. In India marriage is generally considered to be a life time commitment. But are not divorces on the rise these days?

 

We shake hands on business deals and are there no breaches of the contract?

But when you look at success stories of matrimony or business, you will find that a significant factor for success is commitment. Commitment is not something abstract. It is a commitment to a set of values and beliefs, results and to people. A combination of these is a sure recipe for success in any endeavour.

How do we demonstrate commitment in matrimony? It is through our words and actions, mostly actions. When you tell your wife that you love her, it is not enough to utter these words. You have to back it up with deeds – showing concern for her, helping her with household chores, appreciating, if not in so many word at least through gestures, what she does for you. Otherwise, the marriage vow, ‘till death us do part’ will mean nothing. Both will be waiting for that ‘apart’ and of course an ‘apartment’ as alimony!

The marriage vows have to be taken seriously and I believe that breaking of the solemn vow made at the altar means an invitation to divine punishment. Marriage is still equated with commitment in our country. May be in the Western world, it is treated as a contract from which one can walk out after ‘due notice’.

Commitment is not easily practised as hardships in life test our endurance. It is the tenacity of purpose a la the one shown by the captain of ‘The Titanic” – ensure that every passenger of the ship is sent to the rescue boats before he can think of saving himself.

From childhood we have been taught the importance of integrity, honour and the need to keep up our promises.

Back to our Italian marines!  Are we to believe, as some opposition parties would want us to, that the Indian government was naïve and the Hon’ble Supreme Court did not apply its mind before allowing them to go to Italy. Certainly not, is my view.  That a sovereign government would renege on its promise is something that would not have crossed the minds of even those that find fault with the government and now say ‘I said so” – in fact they never ‘said so’!

True we have been caught napping; that does not mean that we have been cahoots with the present ‘Italian’ regime that chose to repudiate international treaties. Let us wait and watch. Let us not prejudge our government’s capabilities to handle the situation.

 

 

 

 

 A Gentleman's game!

 

When Pujara and Murali Vijay reached their centuries in the recent Test match at Hyderabad, what impressed me most was the manner in which they reacted after reaching the milestone. A sheepish, self-effacing grin, raising of the bat in acknowledgement of the cheer from the crowd – that was all the celebration.

I had also seen a New Zealand batsman – I think the name is Williamson – who looked almost apologetic for scoring a hundred and gracefully accepted the cheer from the crowd and recently Ingram of South Africa impressed me with his very pleasant demeanour on reaching a hundred. All these achievements looked bigger because they made them look like it is routine business! And no histrionics - show of anger, jumping up etc.,

I was impressed because I have seen some Indian batsmen showing anger on attaining this – what are they angry about and at whom is the anger directed? Is it not a moment to be happy and be proud of? I remember the legendary Sunil Gavaskar, commenting on these lines when some Indian batsman (safer for me not to name him!) reached his hundred runs.

This led me to reflect on the game of cricket as was played say about three decades back and now – yes, I admit those days it was a leisurely game and nowadays it is a fierce game – because there is more ‘moolah’ in the game than before and you have to be consistently performing to be in the reckoning. But does it licence you to gnash your teeth in anger? How many of you will believe it when I say that there was a rest day after three days of Test cricket and the play resumed on the fourth day! Really a game of leisure for pleasure!

Cricket was (please note the past tense) a gentleman’s game – if a bowler bowled a very good ball and the batsman had difficulty in playing it, there was a slight nod of the head from the batsman  in appreciation  and acknowledgement of the bowler’s effort; if a batsman score a hundred, even the opposition applauded it; if a batsman played a caressing  cover drive or elegantly glanced the ball off his legs or deliciously square cut a ball, it was appreciated by the fielding side. Do you see such things these days? I am afraid not!

Neville Cardus, that great critic of the game, would turn in his grave if he ever had to watch the matches these days. He wrote about cricket as a gentleman's game. It was sheer poetry to read his reviews on the game and every good effort of the players on the field came in for rightful applause from his pen.

How did this change happen? The Australians were the first to reject the idea of appreciating the opponents’ prowess and achievements? The youngsters in the team were actively encouraged not to admire the technique, exquisiteness of batsman-ship or the guiles of the bowlers. For them opponents meant just that and no applause please!

Of course there have been some legends of cricket like Dr. W.G.Grace who carried their charisma to levels unthinkable today. I recollect a story – rather two stories.

The first is – WCG came to open the innings and was bowled first ball; he promptly said ‘that was a good trial ball’, now let’s get on with the game!’. And everybody obeyed!

The second story goes like this. WCG was given out lbw ( to the uninitiated, this means ‘leg before the wicket’); When an umpire gave him out lbw before he had scored any run, he told the umpire, ‘young man, the crowd has come to see me bat, not how you umpire’ and continued to bat. Such was his personality that the opposition could not rebut him.

I also recall the quote a by a Japanese General during the World War II in the film ‘The Bridge on the river Kwai” starring Sir Alec Guinesse. In one scene, the Japanese General slaps the British General Sir Alec and says ‘ This is war not a game of cricket’, clearly defining the game as that of gentlemen.

Can we consider today’s cricket as gentlemen’s game – you see ugly scenes of one up-man-ship, heckling and what not!  

Can such things happen these days (I admit WCG was not right). But that was the spirit of the game. A game played for pleasure and not for public demonstration of one’s anger etc.!

Can we get back to those days? I wonder!

 

 

Live-in

I was wearing a shirt with a label ‘live-in’ and my friend, the eagle-eyed Prof. S, noticed it and started talking to me of the buzz word these days  - ‘live-in relationships’. From the way he waxed eloquence of the subject, I wondered if he had any personal experience (S, please bear with me).

This led me to reflect on this. Although I have a vague idea of what this means, as is my wont, I looked up the meaning of this word. And this is what I got:

“A living arrangement in which an unmarried couple lives together in a long-term relationship that resembles a marriage”

To my mind, schooled in the traditional belief of marital relationships, this was jarring. But I seem to be out of date! My friend S tells me that he has come across several instances of ‘live-in’ relationships that he is unable to think of this as uncommon! He is, as you say, modern and is up-to-date on the ways of the world. Poor me!

What does this ‘live-in’ mean?  It means co-habitation by choice of two consenting adults rather than marry. This could be for a variety of reasons like, wanting to check their compatibility (unheard of in my times!), the freedom to walk out of the relationship (can’t think of it!), if found unpalatable, maintaining financial independence (in a marriage the finances get merged, you see!).

Be that as it may, this is something that has caught on in recent years notwithstanding the possible legal impediments, societal acceptance, finding another partner after you walk out of a relationship. And why does this happen?

In the context of this new fad, my mind went back in time, about forty years. Time was when a young man even talking to a girl was not well received by the society. I particularly remember that I needed to borrow some notes from a neighbour (a girl, of course) as her teacher’s notes were considered to be very relevant for the public examination that we were to take. I had to enlist the assistance of my sister to get those notes!

 And then when I was to marry, the typical South Indian “interview’ took place. Boy ‘sees’ girl, conveys his acceptance or otherwise to his parents (usually mother – you don’t dare to talk to your father about your marriage, you see!). The typical questions – can she sing, dance, cook, what has she studied, is she working - all these questions from the boy’s parents – you are not expected to speak to the girl! And I got married and I don’t regret my choice – my wife is an angel! I don’t want to say priceless a la Sashi Tharoor (now, why am I obsessed with this man’s statements- may be sub-consciously I like his statements and admire him!).

After it was agreed between the families (please mark my words agreed between the families!), a formal engagement took place. After that, I was ‘allowed’ to speak to her occasionally over the phone and one day I asked her if she would be interested in a music programme at Ravindra Kalashetra featuring the late Shenai legend Bismillah Khan (one of my friends had given me two passes for the programme). This innocent invitation set off a chain reaction (stronger than the nuclear chain reaction!)  that I had not anticipated! She told her father and he in turn consulted his brother-in-law who in turn consulted his sister and so on – all of them to arrive at the decision that my wife-to- be was not to honour the invitation. And their worry was how to convey it to me (my wife told me this later!). And they decided that the best person to convey the negative information was my fiancée! She rang me up and with a lot of preface told me that ‘it was not the ‘done thing’ to appear in public together before the marriage!

And when my son was to be married, the biggest concession given was that the ‘girl and the boy’ could talk to each other alone, albeit in the same house! And could exchange e-mails!

How far have we travelled in our social customs and the societal values – today two unmarried individuals ‘living in’ don’t give a damn to what ‘four people will say?’ I do not know if this is a welcome movement or not. It depends on the lens you choose to look through!

The institution of marriage, as understood by my generation, is becoming less popular among the present day youngsters. An increasing number of people are living-in with their partners out of wedlock. Most conservative families still do not approve of this ‘live-in’. This is because of the mind-set that marriage is a necessary evil. One famous marriage counsellor says "When passion wanes, a live-in couple may call it quits, but marriage helps couples face and fight the problems being in the relationship." Live-ins as an alternative to marriage is not acceptable to most.

The fear that lies in the minds of such families is that in case of rejection by the live-in partner, it is the girl that stands to lose a lot – social prestige, stigma, emotional break-down etc. Mercifully laws have been enacted in a few States of our country and abroad too, in regard to such live-in relationships which seek to protect the interests of the people involved.

“Living in is a step above dating, but marriage is marriage." "Marriage means commitment of a lifetime. ‘Till death do us apart' as a concept is endearing to most couples. It has a magical charm. It is the ultimate destination for couples. Living together is the journey towards that destination." – I read this somewhere and I can’t agree with this more!

 

 

BUDGET BLUES

One of my colleagues, Santhosh,  told me today that the Greek language did not have the word ‘blue’ and possibly the Englishmen adapted this from some French or other Scandinavian dialect. I take his word for it because Santhosh is a very knowledgeable professor!

However the conversation set me thinking and the words that came to my mind in a flash were ‘budget blues’ – I think at my sub-conscious level the Union Government’s budget to be presented on the 28^th February must have influenced this – considering that every newspaper that you lay your hands on these days carries some article or other on the budget and what is more every columnist (!?) worth a penny or two (or perhaps not worth so much!!) has some suggestion for PC (I mean Mr. P. Chidambaram) – not your personal computer or Priyanka Chopra!

The newspapers are screaming that the budget has to provide stimuli to kick start growth and if India were to achieve non-Hindu rate of growth (I wonder why bring in religion into economics), there have to be a lot of 

.   efforts to reverse market sentiments (read SENSEX); the sentiments of you and me don’t (the honest tax paying public) do not matter. 

.   capital gains to be clearly defined – you and I don’t have any gains either revenue or capital but does that enter into the equation?

.   India should ensure that Standard and Poor (whose standards seem to be poor) do not down grade or that Moody’s (whose mood is it anyway and who is not moody these days) should certify our economy as investment grade – do these ratings affect you and me?

.   real estate business has to be given a fillip so that the middle class can afford houses – who is middle class today? – the way the prices of essentials have shot up during the recent past has probably made most of the middle class also BPL or a la Sashi Tharoor – cattle class!

.   concession in taxes for women wage earners – Pray, Where is gender equality?

But my worries about the budget are different. I am almost certain that I will have to pay more income tax and of course indirect levies in the form of rise in price of every item that I need for my down-to-earth living not luxurious living, mind you!

But I have to consider myself a rich man because the Government is expected to tax the rich. My logic is Government taxes the rich; I pay taxes and so I must be rich – I can hear some logician telling me that there is, in this syllogism, a fallacy of undistributed middle, whatever that means!  But I have not stolen any one’s properties – this is a caveat of mine because Pierre – Joseph Proudhon said that ‘the possessions of the rich are stolen property’.

In any case there is a periodical increase in price of diesel which will ensure that every household item that I need will cost more thanks to transportation costs

Indirect levies, customs, excise etc. will ensure that other items that I may consider buying go beyond my reach and most of the Aam Aadhmi about whose welfare the entire political spectrum is reportedly concerned.

The increase by four rupees and reduction by two rupees of the price of petrol will ensure that I do not even touch my vehicle and so no social contacts – in any case does it exist given our pre-occupation with TV – serials that do not seem to reflect reality and reality shows that are far removed from reality and of course, the Indian cricket team playing some country or other.

To you and me personal budget is a great feat of balancing fixed income with escalating prices. Our capabilities in this may surprise even the circus juggler of three or more balls and catching them in time without letting any of them fall. But while the circus man does not let fall any ball, you and I have to sacrifice some expenditure or other – that is allowing some ball to slip from your grasp to use the circus terminology.

We have been taught early in our life 'cut the cloth according to the coat’ meaning plan your expenses within your income and if possible (?) save some for the rainy day – that it does not rain adequately is why we are not worried about the rainy day!

 

The Tamil poet Thiruvalluvar said that if governance is good there shall be no deficit of rain – probably God tells us that our governance needs to be improved! And in any case, we get the governance that we deserve or we deserve the governance that we get, which ever way you want it!

Another concern of the analysts is that the savings of the household sector has fallen over the years – please tell me how you can save given the prevailing prices! In any case the modern trend of ‘live for the day and don’t worry about the future’ ensures that our savings will not grow.

Still I am hopeful PC will not tax me heavily because 2014 is only 10 months away! I am an eternal optimist.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Better late than Never! (An alibi for tardiness)

Many of us believe this as a truism and have at some time or other in our lives explained our tardiness this way. Is this okay? To my mind, no!

Often times we have seen people arriving late for functions – the more important (!!??) you are, the later will you attend the function seems to be the dictum!

When as a school boy I went to attend a meeting to be addressed by the late Shri C.N. Annadurai –popularly and affectionately address as Anna- a great scholar and a brilliant orator both in English and Tamil. I went because I wanted to hear him not because I subscribed to the beliefs of his party. He was supposed to commence his speech at 8.00 p.m. – an hour considered too late for a school boy to be outside his home but I had my mother’s permission to be late for dinner. 8 p.m. no sign of Anna, 8.30 p.m. no sign of Anna – the organizers were repeatedly telling that he was expected any moment (!) and so I waited. Then I heard someone – looking important and knowledgeable- tell another nearby that Anna had not yet left Kanchipuram – a place about 50 miles away from my place – which meant, given the transport facilities available those days, that Anna will reach our place only by about 10.00 p.m. – too late for an youngster to be out and I was also getting hungrier by the moment. So with lament, I trudged back home. Next day, I came to know that he arrived at about 10.45 p.m. I regret having missed his speech but at the same time felt that the organizers could have been more transparent!

And I learnt, of course, through experience that it was not only Anna who could not keep up time, besieged as he was by his admirers all along his route, others too have this difficulty. While I understand but do not necessarily accept such practice in respect of leaders of the ilk of Anna, I am unable to comprehend why ordinary people also do not keep up timings.

If you have watched the famous Telugu movie ‘Sankarabaranam’, you would have seen the village’s richest man arriving for the concert late, dragging a chair loudly and generally getting noticed by the audience and disturbing the flow of the artiste . And the performing artiste could be seen frowning. I have in real life too seen this. The artiste is engrossed in his/her alapana, niraval or swara and suddenly some commotion of someone coming late and wanting to occupy the first row – can’t he or she sit in the last row unobtrusively?

There, therefore, must be something compulsive  for some people (the ordinary common folk – I was tempted to say cattle class but knowing what happened to someone who used that word I am NOT using it) – to habitually arrive at functions later than the scheduled time.

My wife belongs to a singing group and she always refers to one of her group members as late M – thank God she did not mean that M was no more – she only meant that M was always late for all their singing classes whatever be the time fixed for commencement. If the class was scheduled for 4.00 p.m. M will arrive at 4.15 p.m.; if it was scheduled for 4.30 p.m. M will arrive at 4.45 p.m.  – a compulsive late comer!

Most of us know such people quite well. Every one of us have been late some time or other for our appointments – I still cannot forget how once I was late in reaching the railway station sufficiently late (!?) to see my train leaving the station fairly fast and missing it!

I know a friend whose wife has to goad him to get ready from 10.a.m. for a function at 6.00 p.m.! Such habitual offenders annoy me.

There are of course explanations that we offer – make a joke of it saying Indian Standard Time- as if that explains our tardiness. It has perhaps something to do with our culture where casual attitude to anything is the given norm. Then there are explanations as to why one was late – of course, in Bangalore it is convenient to put the blame on the traffic! But then do we not have to provide for that bit extra time to be in time and not use the traffic jams as an excuse. Will we use that excuse to the airlines and ask them to delay the departure of a plane? Will we miss ‘shubamuhurtham’ at marriages on this count?

To label such casual attitude as ‘inconsiderate’ towards the hosts is perhaps a correct description but that does not absolve them of the guilt of being tardy. We seem to accept this as okay because it is ‘better late than never’. I believe that this is a  much maligned excuse and therefore, move that it be scrapped from our ‘behavioural dictionary’.

Let us be punctual come ‘rain or shine’. Remember that for every 10 people who are on late, there are 90 who make conscious attempt to be at the place on time.

Let us shed our inertia, propel ourselves to be prompt and not inconvenience others.

‘They also serve who only stand and wait."

                  wrote John Milton, the great poet in ‘on his blindness’.

I am reminded of this line every day as I stand and wait for the pick-up vehicle that will transport me to my work place.

The provocation is the delay in the arrival of the vehicle at the spot. It is scheduled to arrive at 8.10 a.m. and your truly therefore, reaches the spot a few minutes earlier to that. But of late, the vehicle does not arrive till about 8.20 or 8.25.

So, I am forced to wait and what do I serve – nothing. No, perhaps!

I see some auto fellows slowing down on seeing me – hoping that I will hire them! I look the other way. So I serve this purpose of kindling hope of business for the auto driver

Someone, approaches me and asks me, ‘where is such and such school; I am knowledgeable about this and give the person the directions to reach that school. So I serve this purpose!

The waiting has unfolded quite a number of things to me! Most of the days I see the same faces, vehicles and there is some punctuality among these (this is contrary to my earlier blog – better late than never”).

I can set my watch by the school teacher hurrying to her school close by. The time is 8.12 a.m. A Swift car passes by - the time is 8.13 a.m. The security guard at the entrance of the building near which I wait climbs on to his bi-cycle – the time is 8.15 a.m. Still no sign of my vehicle!

A man with his Alsatian (that frightens me!) comes along – the time is 8.16 a.m. And so on….

Another person I regularly see is the one who seems to have lost his orientation with his unsteady feet – he will walk with his hands stretched in front of him as if to say, ‘please give way’. I have sometimes helped him to cross the road. So I also serve!
What intrigues me is that there seems to be regularity in the way people go about their business.

I am already worked up. I call my vehicle coordinator on his mobile – the msg. comes ‘the subscriber is busy; call after some time’. I call another of my colleagues. He does not respond. Try another number wondering whether the vehicle had arrived earlier and left without picking me up! Mercifully he responds, ‘we will be at your spot in another 2/3 minutes’.

I feel relieved.Otherwise I have to go home and take my car to the work spot and of late, I don’t relish driving in Bangalore. Or hire an auto who will want the price of an auto as auto fare and on top of that I have to describe to him the destination – my work spot is located far away from the city and not many are familiar with that area. He will start the auto and mumble along the way, ‘I will not get return fare so you must give me more than what I had demanded. I will have to agree. I have no other option and he is aware of it!

So I wait for the vehicle so that I may go and serve in the institution which prepares youngsters for careers in banking!

So, I, who stand and wait also, serve!  

(with apologies to John Milton)

 

Breaking Down

A few days ago, ‘The Economic Times’ carried a write up, in its front page, headlined ‘Breaking Down News”

Used, as most of us are, to ‘breaking news’ in the TV channels (that is an intriguing tag line – almost all news channels claim that they were the first to break news – the fact of the matter is that the event reported upon does not happen separately for each of the channels and all the reporters and the photographers happen to be accidentally at the ‘happening’ place), this head line intrigued me.

(Remember the recently departed cricket commentator and former captain of the England cricket team Tony Greig oft stated quote  - ‘It is all happening out there’ – Tony was merely commenting on the happenings in a cricket field but could bring lot of excitement in that simple statement. You felt you were part of the happenings on the field).

I lost the trail – Back to breaking down!

Rahul Gandhi, the press and the party to which he belongs would have us believe, had touched the hearts of everyone with his speech (the cause of breaking down) on being anointed the number two of his party; in my view it was only a formal recognition of what in fact was the ‘de facto’ situation. I do not propose to talk about his talk!

When I saw the head line ‘breaking down’ and the list and moments of those who had ‘broken down’ – there were 11 such moments listed – my mind, cynical occasionally, started wondering if this is great news. Every one of us has, at some time or other, broken down. It is normal and natural. We cry when we are happy! We cry when we are unhappy!  We laugh and cry; we cry and laugh!

As the famous Tamil lyricist Kannadasan said – ‘silar sirippar, silar azhuvar, silar sirithukonde azhuvar!

(Roughly translates to ‘some people laugh, some people cry, some people laughingly cry”)

Yet it is the emotion of the moment that makes us cry or laugh or break down. The only reason we are not seen to be breaking down is that over the years we have been schooled to believe  that it is not correct to publicly exhibit our emotions (particularly men – crying is seen as a trait of  the weak!). We, therefore, control our emotions in public and may cry in private.

But there are moments in one’s life when one can’t control – how many of us can resist crying when our mother is no more, our father is no more, our near and dear ones are no more. It is the human thing to grieve and cry – in fact often times we have heard people say ‘let him/her cry and get over it’.

So is it anything great if the VIPs break down. They are also human beings and are entitled to emotions.

Let us cry when we need to. Let us not increase our BP by bottling up our emotions.  The Good Lord will understand why we cry and give us solace.